|
Page 1 of 4 EAST REGIONAL DEAF MARRIAGE CONFERENCE/RETREAT: Greetings from Job and Bukola Ayantola in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ! It gives us a great joy to share with you about our first annual East Regional Deaf Marriage Conference, which was held on April 3-5, 2009 at Lifeway Conference center in Rigdecrest, NC. There were 35 married couples from nine (9) different states attending the conference. The theme was "Extreme Marriage Make-over" led by Dr. Jerry Seale of Knoxville, TN, Arthur Craig and his wife Barbara of Houston, TX. The theme included four (4) different workshop titles (Blueprint, Foundation, Walls and Roof). Some couples had the opportunity to meet with Jerry Seale and Arthur Craig for private counseling after the workshops. We had a panel discussion with questions and answers from the audience. Also, we had a newly wed game that was a great fun! The humble servants, Ralph and Deborah Bradshaw of Asheville, NC, invited all married couples to their humble and beautiful home for dinner, relax and fellowship on Saturday, April 4. They were a great hospitality. We had a great time! The East Regional Deaf Marriage committee members (Larry Barnes, Dawn Barnes and Nathan Blanton) as well as the workshop leaders did a fabulous job. Let us give thanks and glory to God for making this a great success!!! Jerry Seale, TN, one of the guest speakers wrote this: "Deaf Marriage Conference and Retreat......Extreme Marriage Makeover" Todd Pennington and his Extreme Home Makeover are an incredible group of people....they network with contractors, funiture dealers, appliance merchants, and a whole host of neighborhood groups to accomplish great feats on behalf of needy families. I don't have the opportunity to watch the TV series BUT I follow their activities on the internet and in news articles. Todd Pennington, I am a fan of what you are doing! I wish there was some way for us to inform Todd Pennington and his clan about what we are doing in regard to Deaf couples and the marriages that they are trying to "makeover." I have been doing serious research and therapy with Deaf couples for more than 29 years, trying to understand the uniquesses of the marriages of Deaf people. Here is why, the most crucial quality that any romantic relationship MUST have is communication. However, Deafness is labeled a "communication handicap." This means that for an intimate and romantic relationship to be successful among Deaf people, communication must be patiently learned and practiced. Too often, Deaf couples do not take the time to REALLY communicate, I mean talk about their thoughts and feelings, families in which they were born, schools in which they were educated and may have been raised, goal and aspirations, as well as their expectations from this intimate and romantic relationship. Most Deaf couples do not take the time nor invest the energy to LEARN how to communicate with one another....just using the same sign language system is not sufficient, my experience and knowledge has taught me this truth. There is NO significant difference in the divorce rate between hearing couples and Deaf couples-it is approaching 55%-more than half the couples who marry, end up before a family court judge who announces a D I V O R C E . There is NO significant difference in the divorce rate between Christain couples and non-Christian couples-no even a commitment to God is changing anything. The answer is found in the workshops and community which we are trying to offer at the regional marriage conferences and retreats. The answer to the rising divorce rate among Deaf couples is found in the Extreme Marriage Makeover events across the country. Deaf couples must think and behave differently than they have in the past, differently than the culture dictates, and differently than the couples among whom they live. This is not an easy task and it is only with the tools which Arthur and Barbara Craig and I have given and 48 hours of intense community with other serious Deaf couples CAN change BEGIN to ocurr. Let me encourage you to seek out a marriage enrichment event near you and go. Let me encourage you to attend one of the Extreme Marriage Makeover Conferences which is being supported by CEA and coordinated by Job Ayantola and his wife. 35 couples attended the North Carolina conference in April. Ask one of the couples who attended that conference, "Was it worth your time?' "Has there been a difference in your marriage?" Let other Deaf couples convince you make the effort, spend the time and money, and attend the next conference....whether it is near you or not. Don't wait until you are in Extreme Marriage Trouble before you wish you had attended Extreme Marriage Makeover. Dr. Jerry Seale
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
Knoxville, Tennessee
|
